Hollywood is finally ready to give Voltron the Transformers treatment. The 1984 animated series Voltron: Defender of the Universe may actually become a big budget Hollywood production. According to Vulture, a bidding war has erupted between producers of The Dark Knight Rises and Relativity Media, the studio behind a number of successful action films and Judd Apatow comedies in the last few years. Sources say development is moving along and the film could hit theaters in 2013 or 2014, which would put it in line for Voltron’s 30th anniversary.

For those who didn’t watch Saturday morning cartoons in the 1980s, Voltron is an interesting success story. The show was created by an American man named Peter Keefe in 1983 by splicing together licensed footage from two different Japanese animes: Beast King GoLion and Armored Fleet Dairugger XV. Keefe created new storylines by combining the footage, cutting out excessive violence and Japanese themes and locations. Popular 90s kids show The Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers was heavily influenced by the success of Voltron.

However, in recent years, the original Japanese owner of the animes, Toei, has demanded money every time a Voltron series or movie tries to get off the ground, which put a damper on the chances of a big budget film or revival for a very long time. In the last few years, a deal was struck with Toei and development on a new TV show and movie began. Concept art for the live-action CGI film was leaked last fall.

Voltron could make an interesting movie, but it would need a Transformers-sized budget, unique art style (it can’t look just like it), and a director more talented than Michael Bay. Can Hollywood pull this off? We’re not so sure.

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Cowboys & Aliens

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Battle Los Angeles

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Super 8

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Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

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Captain America: The First Avenger

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Never fear, this is not the first time the dome has had a collapse, actually surviving 5 collapses (according to wikipedia) and definitely won’t be the last.

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Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950′s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.” I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World”.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,John J. Wall Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And you won’t have to press 1 for English when you call our country. 

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